My husband Dennis has a good heart. I knew it when we met on a field trip to an art museum during freshman year of college. I remember how I felt with him that day: at ease, safe, happy, interested in this tall dark boy who radiated sincerity and trustworthiness. Uncommon qualities in a nineteen-year-old. I held on tight, and he became my home away from home…until we got married in 2003, and then he was just home. The ring on his finger was a wonder to me for a long time.
He has always made me feel better about myself. We are kind to each other, and hardly ever fight – although there is a lot of sighing at each other, as in “Jack is trying to pull the giant flat-screen down on top of himself again…sigh.” We dump our crap on each other, and give each other backrubs, and tease each other, and have date nights at home, now that we have the kids.
We are both interested in the arts and storytelling, and could talk about a movie or favorite TV drama for a long time. Our favorite outings alone usually involve sitting in a bookstore with coffee and looking through a huge pile whatever looked interesting on the shelves. We push each other to pursue our own creative projects, because we know that is what makes us happy in the long run. He animates for video games, and I worked in interior design, but we both have roots in the classical arts, too, and it brings us together.
As a father he is goofy, rambunctious, affectionate and thoughtful. The kids know they can count on him; he will always be there for them. He worries more about their safety than I do – I don’t want them to be fearful, but he teaches caution. He takes his role as Dad very seriously. We back each other up, and give each other breaks when we sense the other one has lost their last ounce of patience. I am glad to have him as my partner in the trenches of parenting. I need him as much as the kids do.
Like everyone, we are busy and lead messy lives, but I am learning that if we take the time to just be together, cultivating our love, our love is always there waiting for us. The roots grow deeper every year. And we see the blossoms all around us.
When I think about the life we have made together, I am filled with gratitude and joy.