July 3, 2018 by Julia
Happy 4th of July, and all that, blah blah blah. I had no idea until this year that Canada Day (July 1) was so close to our Independence Day. It feels like they’re rubbing salt in our wounds at this point. “Nanny-nanny-boo-boo!” they say over the border, because that’s about as mean as Canadians get.
I wish I lived where people were mostly nice.
I do understand better now why people don’t just up and leave crappy countries whenever possible. To be clear, I am referring to my country, THE U! S! of A!, as the crappy country that I wouldn’t mind leaving. So why don’t we leave? Well, friendships, family and my husband’s career. But I feel hardly any loyalty to my country anymore. I feel love for our state and national parks, for the natural unspoiled beauty that still exists. I feel love for our diversity and openness of spirit. But my two favorite things about my country have been under fire lately, and I am tired.
So, screw it. All y’all who think the flag matters more than human lives can take your flag and your guns and your walls and your crying toddlers without their parents and have a big ol’ party. You want to make a meme about me leaving? Go ahead. I’ll frame it. Hoo-boy. Oh say can you see?!? That we-eeeeee suck! We suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. We suck. We suck, we suck, we suck.
But that’s boring. No need to rehash all the ways, here. We’re all familiar.
I wonder what the opposite of wearing red-white-and-blue on the 4th of July is. Should I wear all black? An orange jumpsuit? A handmaiden costume? A picture of Colin Kaepernik kneeling? (Oh man, I wish I had that shirt, now. I would love to wear him kneeling.) Decent, passionate, intelligent people like him almost make me want to stay and fight for my country. Almost.
Just kidding. I’m not going anywhere. But…Canada calls to me, more than ever. Can you imagine living in a place of peace, common sense and friendliness? Where it never gets too hot, and school shootings don’t happen, and the leader is not the anti-Christ?
No wrapping things up with a nice little red, white and blue bow this year. I’ll still enjoy the family time, don’t get me wrong. I’m not even upset. I’m just not inspired by the United States of America. I’m the opposite of inspired. I’m bitter/tired/dreaming of Canada.