May 14, 2013 by Julia
Oh, Dishwasher, oh dishwasher
You are my frenemy
I depended on you I hated you I needed you
When I didn’t know what else to do,
I came to you,
Because you always needed to be unloaded
And that was always a valid place to start.
Get the ball rolling
On the day:
Make sure your dishwasher is in order.
My place of zen. My starting point.
And now you are gone.
Well, your body remains, but your soul has departed.
Your replacement waits by the front door in
A giant box. Because we are more artsy fartsy
Than Handy Manny
It will remain in the box until
The people who know how to install it without
Flooding the kitchen or electrocuting themselves
Arrive on Monday.
Let’s hope your replacement fits in the hole you now occupy.
That’s not a metaphor. I mean that literally.
And so I WASH WASH WASH dishes
And it takes twice as long by hand (that’s what she said)
And now I fully understand why mothers of older generations
Rarely played with their children. This is not a slam on them
Between the dishes and the laundry, it’s a miracle they survived.
Dishwasher, let’s hope there are no dishes in heaven
Unless that’s what floats your boat
If you see Camera, tell him I said hello.