Ode to a Dishwasher

2

May 14, 2013 by Julia

Oh, Dishwasher, oh dishwasher

You are my frenemy

I depended on you I hated you I needed you

When I didn’t know what else to do,

I came to you,

Because you always needed to be unloaded

Or loaded

And that was always a valid place to start.

Get the ball rolling

On the day:

Make sure your dishwasher is in order.

My place of zen. My starting point.

And now you are gone.

Well, your body remains, but your soul has departed.

Your replacement waits by the front door in

A giant box. Because we are more artsy fartsy

Than Handy Manny

It will remain in the box until

The people who know how to install it without

Flooding the kitchen or electrocuting themselves

Arrive on Monday.

Let’s hope your replacement fits in the hole you now occupy.

That’s not a metaphor. I mean that literally.

And so I WASH WASH WASH dishes

And it takes twice as long by hand (that’s what she said)

And now I fully understand why mothers of older generations

Rarely played with their children. This is not a slam on them

Between the dishes and the laundry, it’s a miracle they survived.

Dishwasher, let’s hope there are no dishes in heaven

Unless that’s what floats your boat

Oh Dishwasher.

If you see Camera, tell him I said hello.

Good night.

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2 thoughts on “Ode to a Dishwasher

  1. Mollie W says:

    Julie, this made me laugh out loud and get a little weepy. I too go to the dishwasher when i don’t know what else to do, because it always seems to need my attention.

    • Julia says:

      Thank you for feeling my pain, Mollie! I know – dishwashers are a needy bunch, aren’t they? You’d think I’d be glad mine is dead! I guess you don’t know what you got til it’s gone…:)

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