Ode to a Dishwasher


May 14, 2013 by Julia

Oh, Dishwasher, oh dishwasher

You are my frenemy

I depended on you I hated you I needed you

When I didn’t know what else to do,

I came to you,

Because you always needed to be unloaded

Or loaded

And that was always a valid place to start.

Get the ball rolling

On the day:

Make sure your dishwasher is in order.

My place of zen. My starting point.

And now you are gone.

Well, your body remains, but your soul has departed.

Your replacement waits by the front door in

A giant box. Because we are more artsy fartsy

Than Handy Manny

It will remain in the box until

The people who know how to install it without

Flooding the kitchen or electrocuting themselves

Arrive on Monday.

Let’s hope your replacement fits in the hole you now occupy.

That’s not a metaphor. I mean that literally.

And so I WASH WASH WASH dishes

And it takes twice as long by hand (that’s what she said)

And now I fully understand why mothers of older generations

Rarely played with their children. This is not a slam on them

Between the dishes and the laundry, it’s a miracle they survived.

Dishwasher, let’s hope there are no dishes in heaven

Unless that’s what floats your boat

Oh Dishwasher.

If you see Camera, tell him I said hello.

Good night.


2 thoughts on “Ode to a Dishwasher

  1. Mollie W says:

    Julie, this made me laugh out loud and get a little weepy. I too go to the dishwasher when i don’t know what else to do, because it always seems to need my attention.

    • Julia says:

      Thank you for feeling my pain, Mollie! I know – dishwashers are a needy bunch, aren’t they? You’d think I’d be glad mine is dead! I guess you don’t know what you got til it’s gone…:)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 531 other followers



--- A Return to Art Criticism ---

Radical Discipleship

A Joint Project of Bartimaeus Cooperative Ministries and Word & World

Read Diverse Books

Let's Read The World


A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

Angela Barnett

Writer. Wig Wearer. Shame Buster.

Things We Like

a project by jessica gross

LaMonte M. Fowler

an indie author writing to stay sane

Kelsey L. Munger

writer & writing coach


Social Justice | Pop Culture | Black Girl Magic

One Awkward Year

wow, this is awkward . . .

The Belle Jar

"Let me live, love and say it well in good sentences." - Sylvia Plath

Joy, Lovely Joy

Writing through mothering

Fucking Awesome Bulimics I Know

Kicking that pimp called Shame in the shins.

An Honest Mom

From the hip on mindfulness, parenting, feminism and homesteading.


small shares from Pronoia Coaching

James Gillingham - Long Arm Films

Thinking thoughts and making films

Jennifer Keishin Armstrong

Writing for the Pop Culture Literate.

Laura Parrott Perry

We've all got a story to tell.

Ginger's Grocery

Come on in and browse. The biscuits were made fresh this morning, the Slush Puppie machine was just refilled with a new bottle of red syrup, and we have the biggest selection of bait this close to town.


some of us are brave

Music for Deckchairs

"In shadowy, silent distance grew the iceberg too": universities, technology, work and life

my name is elizabeth

stories about race, culture, and identity

Priss & Vinegar

Lawyer by trade. Writer at heart. Housewife by accident.

Angela Tucker

Blogger / Speaker / Educator

Candice Czubernat

A leading voice in the LGBTQ and Christian dialogue

Song of the Lark

Music, melodies, mutterings

Adventures of a Teacher Nerdfighter

Building a fifth grade classroom community around enthusiasm, creativity, and awesome.

Michelle Murnin Paulson

Evidential Spiritual Medium & Blogger

Olivia A. Cole

Author. Blogger. Bigmouth.

%d bloggers like this: