Limbo

Leave a comment

November 13, 2012 by Julia

Lately I find the kids and myself in a kind of limbo between active playing and active working. We are just being.

I don’t mean that in a meditative or deep way. Let me describe what “being” looks like in our house, on a late afternoon.

We are puttering around in Jack’s room. He alternates between whining at me, trying to stick his finger in a socket, and playing with various toys for 30 seconds at a time. I sit on the floor and point out new things to him, sneak some kisses, while sort of putting away clothes, straightening up anything within arm’s reach. Fiona might be on the leather couch, daydreaming while looking out the window, dumping toys just for the heck of it, probably saying she wants alone time with me, which is not an option while Jack is awake. I am contemplating all the things I should get up and really focus on. I feel guilty about not engaging the kids in real play. I am also too tired to move to another room to fold laundry or plan dinner. I know, however, that if I stop moving altogether the kids will sense an opening and a war will erupt over me. Sometimes they’ll bounce on my back as I lie on my stomach, and that’s kind of like a deep-tissue massage. But when the screaming starts and my long-limbed daughter starts throwing her elbows and knees around, no one is having fun, and it no longer feels flattering that they both want to be in my lap at the same time.

And then there’s the limbo that happens when Fiona has to go potty upstairs but is too “scared of her dreams” to go up by herself, which means I have to stop whatever I’m in the middle of to either yell at her that it’s daytime and there is absolutely no reason to be scared of a hand crawling around by itself in the daytime while she hysterically screams and eventually wets her pants (I assume – we rarely make it to that point), OR I can just resignedly stop whatever I’m doing and get our whole caravan upstairs and keep Jack from trying to dive headfirst into an empty bathtub or playing with the toilet scrubber or unrolling toilet paper or or or or or (there are so many terrible possibilities in bathrooms) while Fiona pees and then asks for help pulling her pants up, which we argue over again because I would prefer that she not be dependent on her mommy for life, and then she sloooooowwwwly washes hands while Jack tries to open the toilet back up, and then I have to drag a twisting screaming Jack out of the bathroom of wonders and back down the stairs so that I can realize two minutes later he has pooped and I have to go right back up to use the changing table. That kind of limbo is a little less relaxing than the “lying around not really playing or accomplishing anything” limbo.

The similarity between both limbos is that nothing is getting done. I can’t check anything off my list. I can’t even check “quality time with the kids” off my list, because it certainly doesn’t feel like that, either. Which leaves me with the question – is there value to this time of feeling listless together at home? I tend to believe there is value to almost every experience in life. Sometimes we may not realize it until that aspect of our daily life is gone.

Anyway, I refuse to turn this post on something that is not actually inspiring me into a Hallmark card. I just wanted to label it, so that maybe it will become another item I can cross off my list.

 

This picture does make limbo look cute, though.

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Julia

Mama-isms...and so much more!

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 495 other followers

Archives

Read Diverse Books

Let's Read The World

Discover

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

Things We Like

a project by jessica gross

LaMonte M. Fowler

an indie author writing to stay sane

Kelsey L. Munger

writer. storyteller.

thecolorlilac.wordpress.com/

Social Justice | Pop Culture | Black Girl Magic

One Awkward Year

wow, this is awkward . . .

The Belle Jar

"Let me live, love and say it well in good sentences." - Sylvia Plath

Joy, Lovely Joy

Writing through mothering

Fucking Awesome Bulimics I Know

Kicking that pimp called Shame in the shins.

Fit and Feminist

Because it takes strong women to smash the patriarchy.

An Honest Mom

From the hip on mindfulness, parenting, feminism and homesteading.

PRONOIA BLOG

small shares from Pronoia Coaching

James Gillingham - Long Arm Films

Thinking thoughts and making films

Jennifer Keishin Armstrong

Writing for the Pop Culture Literate.

Ginger's Grocery

Come on in and browse. The biscuits were made fresh this morning, the Slush Puppie machine was just refilled with a new bottle of red syrup, and we have the biggest selection of bait this close to town.

tressiemc

some of us are brave

Music for Deckchairs

"In shadowy, silent distance grew the iceberg too": universities, technology, work and life

my name is elizabeth

stories about race, culture, and identity

Priss & Vinegar

Lawyer by trade. Writer at heart. Housewife by accident.

Angela Tucker

Blogger / Speaker / Educator

Candice Czubernat

A leading voice in the LGBTQ and Christian dialogue

Song of the Lark

Music, melodies, mutterings

Adventures of a Teacher Nerdfighter

Building a fifth grade classroom community around enthusiasm, creativity, and awesome.

afourytale

Motherhood and other musings

Ethan Yarbrough Writes

Stories. True, Fiction and Otherwise.

%d bloggers like this: